Dear Raider Sam,
Recently I feel like I’m not doing a great job at being a leader. I’m a part of my clubs’ leadership and every role holds a lot of responsibilities. I feel like there were people who deserved my position and would’ve done a better job than I have. I feel like I am not strict enough, but I also don’t want to be too strict. How should I balance out being a strict leader and being a friend to everybody?
–Kitty
Dear Kitty,
Don’t feel as though you don’t deserve your leadership positions. You got chosen for a reason. Feeling the way you do can be a normal thing, but do not let it bring you down. To start off, it’s important to know when the appropriate time is to be strict or friendly. You don’t necessarily have to be both at the same time. When something serious or important is happening in your clubs, that’s when it’s OK to tell others what to do or make sure everything is in order. Try your best to be assertive and respectful when being strict. It’s important to gain the respect of your clubs’ members. When it’s time to bond or when nothing serious is going on in your club, that’s the best time to just be everyone’s friend. Good luck.
–Raider Sam
Dear Raider Sam,
My friend has been crushing on a guy for a few months now and she is having trouble getting closer with him in a romantic way. She doesn’t think she’s making any progress, despite them being close friends. In fact, she doesn’t think he likes her at all. Any advice on what she should do? Should she confess or move on?
–Anxious Bystander
Dear Anxious Bystander,
Your friend will most likely just remain a friend to her crush if she does nothing about it. Some people may hide the way they feel toward someone so tell her to not feel discouraged about thinking he may not like her. He could be in the same situation as your friend but neither of them will ever know if nothing is said. She can choose to wait longer to see how the friendship progresses, then tell him. Or she could tell him now. I recommend waiting a bit longer and just enjoying the friendship as is, then when the time feels right, tell him. Don’t rush into things, or it will end just as quickly as it started. Good luck to your friend.
–Raider Sam
Dear Raider Sam,
My best friend recently got a boyfriend and she loves to spend time with him. We’ve been friends for 8 years, and at times she makes plans with me then flakes on me to go be with her boyfriend. How can I address this to her without sounding jealous or mad?
Dear Unknown,
Addressing this to your friend in a respectful way should not make you seem jealous or mad. If she sees it that way then it maybe time to end the friendship. You should start out by asking her to talk, then bring up what’s bothering you and how it makes you feel. I would recommend not mentioning her boyfriend when you address the problem, as it could be taken the wrong way. Your feelings are definitely valid. It is not respectful for someone to make plans then flake on you, especially if it’s happened more than once. Don’t fully give up on the friendship, unless she is not willing to see her mistake and try to do better. Best of luck.
–Raider Sam
