I think I’ve said this too many times the past few weeks of quarantine, but I feel like I’m slowly losing my mind being home all day. My schedule of attending school for seven hours has condensed down to an approximate three hour period of sitting at my desk alone every morning. While I enjoy this new independence and flexibility, I’ve come to miss the constant greetings, motion, and ruckus of my peers. I’m becoming accustomed to silence and sensitive to commotion. 

And to top it all off, I’ve just learned that I’ll never experience the irritating yet amusing madness of high school ever again. I’ll admit I’ve expressed dread about going to school but I never thought I’d admit that I prefer spending seven hours at school than in my own home. 

My state of mind throughout this quarantine has shifted from healthy to unhealthy states various times. I’m relieved that certain events I was fearful to experience will no longer occur. I’m bummed that other events I’ve been counting down the days to come such as Grad Nite, prom and graduation will never become a cherished memory of mine. I’m enjoying the amount of free time I have to exercise my hobbies such as bike riding, writing and compiling music playlists but am overwhelmed with the time I have to do nothing. It’s been a rollercoaster of emotions ranging from dread, tranquility, regret to relief. But one emotion has been pretty constant: gratefulness. 

I’m grateful for the memories I was able to make the first semester of my senior year and for the virtual ones I’m making right now. I’m grateful for the well being of my family, friends, pets and anyone else maintaining some ounce of strength or unity amongst this madness. I’m grateful for the opportunity to continue my education remotely and for the diligence of essential workers. And I am especially grateful for my clean bill of health and my ability to document my experience living in a time that will go down in history.